“Coco McAtee, I thank the stars everyday that we had that conversation and I decided to have you come and talk with my Girl Scouts. That is one of the best things I think I ever did for those girls..."

Coco McAtee LSCSW
Family Life Educator | Speaker | Facilitator


Telling the Truth About Bodies


4 R's

June 13, 2013

The 4 R’s
We all want our kids to do well in school and there has certainly been lots of debate about school curricula and addressing children’s needs. The three R’s have been discussed, debated, deciphered and even dismissed sometimes.

The new brain development findings point to areas of the brain that light up when we are using a computer versus reading a book or working a math problem with pen and paper. We truly are using more parts of the brain when we engage in certain screen activities. What neuroscientists point out is that pleasure parts of the brain are activated as well and we are connected in a fundamentally different way to the images on a screen than the way we connect with an actual person.

The 4th R I want to emphasize is the R of relationship.  Learning is done best when the student and teacher have a positive relationship. In many of my workshops I share that sexuality is really about relationship: relationship with the one who created us; relationship with our self; and relationship with others in our world. When we deem ourselves, our bodies and minds as sound and good, we feel good about ourselves and relate to ourselves in a healthy way.  In turn, we are healthier in our relating with others.

Recently, I worked with eleven moms and daughters in the Northland. We talked about the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Well, truth be told, if we don’t value and respect ourselves, we may put up with bad behavior from others and in turn dish out bad behaviors TO others. We are treating them as we expect to be treated….poorly.

I hope our home, schools and larger community can emphasize the 4th R as equally important in life lessons we all need.